When the conversation starts to veer toward children, I normally try to veer away from the conversation. This avoidance is mostly because I find conversations involving children who aren’t conceived yet sleep inducing, and when I mention that I don’t want to have children people tend to stare at me like I have a swastika on my forehead. Then the follow up questions just get more and more annoying, ranging from “what if your husband doesn’t want to have children” to “don’t you want a legacy to pass on”. Then there are the statements, which are even more infuriating and vary from quotes regurgitated from the bible to speeches about it being a woman’s “duty” or “purpose”. Oh, and I can’t leave out the most enraging statement of all “ Oh, you say that now, but you’ll change your mind”, to which people get my death stare.
I’ve learned that in these conversations it’s best to answer with a question, my favorite is “why would I want to have children, don’t you know what that entails?” or my favorite statement “ Thank You for reminding me of what I should want out of life, I’ll get right on that”. It is so irritating that there is a standard in society that women have to be mothers, or else. There is also this nonsense that “women can have it all”, which is a ridiculous statement because having “it all” means that you have to take care of “it all”. I’m not saying that having “it all” is not possible, I’m just saying that it sounds exhausting and I really enjoy sleeping. Now, I’m not saying that a part of this desire that women or people in general have to reproduce isn’t an innate drive, but why are so many people still acting on this drive when there are already too many people on the planet for our resources to maintain healthfully? I do admit that when I see a cute little baby( a quiet baby that isn’t screaming), I think ohhh aren’t you cute, I could just take you home…then I remember what being a parent takes…and my break with reality ends. It all started in my 10th grade health class when I had to watch a child being born, trust me they left in all the gory details. After watching this, I thought to myself…why the fuck would anybody do this on purpose, that shit looks awfully painful, then as I grew up the list started to grow. So, here are some of the reasons:
- Child birth looks like the worst thing ever and it doesn’t help that one of my older sisters told me that “it” was hanging like a piece of meat after she had her child…if you can’t figure out what “it” is then you’re probably shouldn’t be reading this.
- I have 10 nieces and nephews, and I’m a great aunt twice over…… I’ve been around lots of children my entire life and quite frankly they’ve killed my curiosity, I already know.
- Children are expensive!!!!! I’m nearly 30 and I’m still costing my father money. I also really love eating out, shoes, clothing, vacations/traveling and making sure I frequent music and art venues…..basically I like spending my money on myself. I’m selfish with my money and I’m not ashamed to say it.
- Children require a great deal of energy; they are not like a plant or a cat!!! They need love, time, patience, guidance and understanding….and I’ve seen all too many times what can happen when even one of those things are missing in a parent-child relationship.
- They are permanent, there are no do overs, take backs or return policies…
- You can’t pick what child you get…. Saying “this one is a dud, can I drop it off at the nearest church and get started on a new one?” is generally frowned upon by society. (This isn’t always the case with adoption, but I think that more people should adopt.)
- Your body is not your own for nine months, that’s a long time….
- The women in my family are craaaaaaaazy when they are pregnant…. I rather enjoy being happy and sane.
- They turn into teenagers…..
- I have goals in life that require my full attention.
- No alcohol for at least 9 months, longer if you’re breast feeding….ummm no thank you.
- I am super picky about what I eat, morning sickness is not an option for me…I’d waste away to nothing.
- I really have absolutely no desire to get married or couple for extended periods of time, and it is very important for a child to have a stable home life.
- My profession requires me to think about others constantly…..I really don’t think I’d have enough for a kid by the time I arrived home at the end of the day.
- I like my freeeedom!!!!!!!!
- Terrible twos….I’ve witnessed this 10 times over, and let me just say…… no thank you, I’ll pass
- Duh, birth control exist ….. therefore, I have choices
So, basically I’m saying that I don’t have that parenting equipment that people need to properly raise children. I think that more people out there need to realize that they probably should not raise children, for the good of themselves, the child and the world. Now, I’m not saying that people should not give birth to children, that’s just stupid…… the human race wouldn’t survive. However, I am saying that people should carefully weigh whether or not they have what it takes to be what a child needs, and if they do…consider adopting a few in your bunch.